Chronicles of Scripture Prayer--Day 9

Today is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Looking forward to being able to spend more quality time with the Lord today.

I am feeling a sense to spend more time in quietness before Him. My mind goes back to some events that took place in my life between February and July of 2010 that totally caught me off guard. Three events, none related to the other. All of them very negative in nature.

Months prior to the first trial, I'd received the word of the Lord from Psalm 37:7 NIV, which reads, 'Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.' I knew God was speaking to me, yet, I didn't heed His voice.

To be honest, I have a hard time allowing silence to be around me unless I'm working on or doing something that requires my undivided attention or trying to fall asleep. And I didn't even realize this was a problem for me until the Lord called me into this place.

Be still. Okay. Well, shouldn't be too hard. Boy, was I wrong. After making my first attempt, I knew it would be harder than I'd thought. I could hardly make it through a few minutes. My mind was everywhere except where it should've been. I was going over my to-do-list backwards and forwards in my mind. I was coming up with all kinds of reasons to get up and do something other than just "lay here on this bed" in silence. And I was pleased to pat myself on the back after those few minutes for having lasted that long.

I tried to make myself have a time of quiet after each time I prayed, extending the time a few minutes more each day. And it got somewhat easier. The more I practiced, the better I was able to follow through and the better I was able to calm my mind and focus. It was becoming more comfortable by this time.

So, what happened? Well, I didn't persist. I did not continue doing this. I always gave myself reasons why I just didn't have the time to do it. The truth was I simply wasn't comfortable in that place. I'd become more comfortable than I was at the begining, but not comfortable enough to make myself stay there for any real length of time. I had too many other things to take care of, I reasoned.

Months later, all hell broke out in my life and the Spirit of God brought to remembrance why He was trying to get me to cultivate that time of waiting in the presence of God. It was so that when the storm eventually hit my life, faith, joy and peace could already be in place to help me walk through the valley like a child of the Most High God. My faith was shot during that time. Peace and joy were no where to be found because I hadn't been prepared spiritually, through quiet time with God.

During those times I didn't feel His presence, His comfort or hear His voice like I could've. And it was my own fault.

Even though Jesus didn't bring about His own suffering on the cross through disobedience, I was actually relating to Him as He asked, 'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?' (Matthew 27:46)

Hebrews 12:6 says, 'For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.' I wasn't forsaken, but I was being chastised and that's why the lack of His presence was evident during that time. Isaiah 59:2 says it plainly, 'But your iniquities have seperated between you and God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.'

I learned a lesson through it all. I learned it through what I'd suffered. As Hebrews 5:8 testifies of Jesus, 'Thou he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered....' And so must we, obviously. And, unfortunately.

The great news is, after realizing my error and understanding that I couldn't stay in the pity-party stage no matter where I'd failed, I went to the Lord, repented of my sin in not doing what He'd told me to do. And I did the things necessary to build my faith, strength, joy and peace in Him as I walked through the valley. There were some very dark days and sometimes I felt that I was holding on only by a strand, but when I tell you I sunk my teeth into determination, like a pitbull sinks his teeth into his prey, believe me I did that. And God moved every single mountain and has definitely given me double for my trouble. Praise God!

That sensing to spend more time in quietness before God is upon me once again. It doesn't mean I'm about to go through something hard, but it could very well mean that. Then again, maybe He's just trying to take me deeper in Him. I don't know. But I know this time I will heed His voice.